Three point five hours of creativity

Today we had to go into Newport to open bank accounts and other riveting activities. Newport is the town of my birth and quite frankly, is a bit of a dump, but it's essentially what I remember. However the entertainment seems to have changed somewhat from the druken haze that was my youth. We saw the below notice board, being scrutinized with some disbelief by two old ladies..." Good grief!" One of them said, "I'm still trying to get my knee fixed, I've got no time to fix that!".