Sunday, August 16, 2009

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type

While waiting for Tony to load a photo for my next blog entry, I will fill the gap with a couple of jokes given to me by Tony's uncle Gwyn (sounds like a character off Gavin and Stacey!). Not sure if he is trying to tell me something....

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other,"Windy isn't it?", "No" the second man replied, "its Thursday". And the third man chimed in "So am I, Lets have a beer"

80 year old Bessie bursts into the Rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight". An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out "An elephant?". Bessie thinks for a minute and says "Close enough".

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice warning him "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful". "Hell" said Herman, "It's not just one car, its hundreds of them!"

An old couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said "You used to hold my hand when we were courting". Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said "Then you used to kiss me". Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said "Then you used to bite my neck". Angrily he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"

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